Robert was midnight and outside was as dark

Robert GanEnglish 9 Period 1Mr.MoranDeath     Some people have large impacts on your life and without them you wouldn’t be the person you are now. I have had many of these people in my life such as friends, family, and even some teachers. Although I have many people that changed my life, I don’t think anyone has affected it more than my grandfather. Although my grandfather passed away about 6 years ago, I still remember a lot about him such as his traits and his appearance.

He was kind, caring, optimistic, and also responsible. He used to always care about his family and would do anything to help his family out, and he would always stay optimistic no matter how bad the situation was. I also remember the day my grandfather died. It was a cold winter day when I was in visiting him. That night I awoke to the sound of a phone ringing. It was midnight and outside was as dark as a grave.

At the time I thought it was nothing important, so I went back to sleep feeling exhausted. The next morning was cold as a corpse. Forcing myself awake, I went downstairs. That morning, I knew something was different.

Although I didn’t know what specifically, I realized that it was silent as snow falling on a ground.As I walked downstairs, I felt the atmosphere of the room turn stressed and depressed. As soon I arrived downstairs, I heard my mother say,”We need to talk about your grandfather.”Thinking that it was nothing serious or important I replied with “What about him?”My mother walked towards me with slow, heavy steps as if she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. As she walked towards me, she said with a serious voice,    “Your grandfather passed away last night from cancer.

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“The moment I heard this I was  unable to believe that this was happening to me. At that moment, it felt like I lost a part of myself because of how much he was worth to me.In the days right after his death, I tried to forget everything about my grandfather. In my grandparents house, my parents and my grandmother started removing many of the rails and bars that we had in the house to help my grandfather. Not only this, the door of his room was shut the day he passed away and haven’t been open since.

During those says it felt as if everyone was trying to forget about him. Looking back, I think I tried to forget about him to prevent myself from feeling the sorrow that I felt every time I remembered that that he was no longer alive.Looking back, I wish I was able to spend more time with my grandfather to have a closer relationship to him. I think I wasn’t able to spend a lot of time with him because  he was always in the hospital for the last few months of his life and because he lived in Japan.

During the last few months, he spent most of his time in the hospital which made it made him feel more distant than before. Also, because he lived in Japan, I was only able to visit him once or twice during the year. Although we talked on the phone sometimes, it didn’t feel the same as talking to him in person. I think speaking with him on the phone made him feel more distant to him because it reminded me of how far he lived from me. Although I think being closer to him would have hurt me more when he died, I believe that being closer with him would’ve made me have less regrets about being unable to spend a lot of time with him. I wasn’t able to believe that he was gone because of how impactful he was to me. He had such a large impact in my life because he taught me so many lessons in life. One example of a lesson that he taught me is to never give up hope and to always stay optimistic.

By the time he passed away, my grandfather had cancer for several years. Although he had cancer, he never gave up the hope that he would be able to overcome it. He also always stayed optimistic and positive even when his situation got worse. I think he was always able to optimistic because he had hope that he would be able to become better. After my grandfather’s death, I found it hard to overcome grief. While grieving, I felt deep sorrow and depression and I didn’t know how to come to acceptance with my grandfather’s loss.

While I was grieving, I remembered about how my grandfather always used to think optimistically and positively no matter how bad the situation was. At the time I thought it would be near impossible, but I tried to think positively and optimistically just like my grandfather. Although it was hard, I think thinking positively like my grandfather helped me overcome grief and reach acceptance.

 When cancer took my grandfather’s life it felt like cancer taking a part of me. Even though it has been 6 years since his death, I still remember his optimism and his kindness. Also, even after 6 years, I still try to always think positively and optimistically just like my grandfather did. Although I had some regrets about not being able to spend more time with my grandfather, I think I was able to learn that life goes on even after the death of someone important.