Should i jump? Well I have not got anything to live for. I am at the top of my apartment building and I am looking out at the world. The view from the top is amazing. I can see for miles and and all those tiny people what a shock they will have. Up here with the wind in my hair is quite shocking. I think of all the good, good times in my life. That all ended after I left home my life turned upside down. I lived in the streets I had a bad job then I met Amanda, she was my everything. So I ask you again what have I got to live for?I used to be happy, Amanda got my life on track, I got a good career, I got a house and a car. Amanda got me through my life, she had a high up job in the BBC and she managed to get me a place. Amanda was so kind, she said that I had the best personality in the world, when I did not. After a while I asked her to marry me and she said yes. She was the nicest person in the world, she was the best.Everything was going fine until one day she had a heart attack. She always had a weak heart and a little fright was all that was needed to stop it. We were driving home from work and a drunk idiot drove straight into us. I got off lightly with only a broken arm but my wife looked dead. I heard the ambulance arrive and I shouted ” HELP HELP UNDER HERE” then everything went black.When I woke up the doctor said that the driver of the other car was dead. He had been thrown out of the car and hit street light. ” He died an instant death the doctor said. The doctor said, “My name is Doctor Watson”. He brought my friend Ben in and he explained about the crash and that I had been out for a week “It felt like a million years” he said. Then I realised something, “my wife” I said. “where is my wife”. Doctor Watson walked in and said that he would take me to her.The doctor walked me there, He said that she is in 24/7 intensive care. I thought that the whole world hated me As I walked to intensive care everybody walking their loved ones home seemed to say your wife will die and we survived. The doctor opened the door and as it creaked open it was like it was laughing at me. Then I saw my wife and I started to cry. She looked like a bomb had been dropped on her. I asked the nurse there would she be okay and the nurse said as gently as she could “she might not make it”.I never left her side it was a torturous time. I got little sleep and the minimum amount of food and water. Nurses were constantly coming and going family and close friends come to and fro. About one month after the accident the doctors said that she will be okay. I am overjoyed the doctors made me go home when I got there I took a shower and put on some clean clothes. I phoned ben and told him the good news he was so happy he asked if he could come down soon. I walked down the street and ate a massive lunch. It was amazing the best day of my life, that night I slept soundly.When I woke up, I felt alive. I had a massive breakfast and it tasted delicious. I got in the car and turned on the radio, my favorite song came on I thought it was my lucky day. I got out of the car and these kids were playing football I had a couple of skill moves so I did it when the ball came my way. You are probably wondering why I would want to jump well keep reading and find out. As I was walking into the hospital I heard a crash but I was not worried this street got robbed regularly. Nurses were running everywhere but this was normal. I was in the elevator and a nurse asked me why I was here.”I’m here to see my wife””oh””what, why did you say that is something wrong””you should ask the doctor I am not entirely sure”Oh no I was so scared she is dead I thought but she cannot be, but why would the nurse say that. The elevator door opened and I walked to the door of the room she was in and I push it open.As I walk in I nearly faint, there is smashed equipment everywhere. The only thing still working was the heart monitor which keeps making beebs slower and slower BEEP BEEP. A doctor helps me as I fall to the floor. “w-w-w-what happened” I ask BEEP “we are BEEP not entirely sure but apparently a football smashed through the window ” the doctor said”. The door flew BEEP open and a BEEP boy I recognized ran in asking what happened. This is the boy with the football. BEEP the details were BEEP fuzzy but I remember pushing the kid out of the room. BEEP is there anything that BEEP we can do I Ask. slowly the doctor said she has only minutes to live.Thours next few minutes went slowly everything was in slow motion. I ran to the bed BEEP and every small detail BEEP was important. The every dust spec on her face BEEP was important BEEP. I pull the blanket BEEP up to her neck making BEEP her last moments comfy. The smashed glass crunching under the doctors feet wear BEEP taunting me like saying BEEP 10 seconds left to go. With only 5 seconds left BEEP I kiss her lips and say good bye BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.”Nooo” I screamed ” no it can’t be true” I started to cry. My wife is dead. I could have done something, I could have kicked the football away from the kids,The kids? The kids are the ones who kicked the football. The football was the thing that smashed the equipment. It is the kids fault that my wife is dead. At that moment the instinct I got from living on the streets came back, I must have my revenge. | followed the kid home, I had done this before when I needed money. I would follow them home and just before they open their door I would hit them. I followed the kid home and just before he opened the door I hit him as hard as I could then I ran home as fast as I could. When I got home I hid in a wardrobe until morning.The police are after me, they found the boy unconscious. I didn’t know that I could hit that hard. Now you know this is why I should jump I do not know what the police would do with me if they found me. With my wife dead I would have nothing to live for anyway. They probably would not give my my job back, I would go back to my life on the streets. Some people say if I jumped I would go to hell but I do not believe in any of that. I found out that the boy is in hospital recovering. I have made up my mind, I close my eyes and let myself go. I would like to say that I am falling gracefully but I opened my eyes and screamed, the people on the ground look up instantly and scream with me. People think that images of your life but the only pictures flashing in front of my eyes are pictures of my wife her smiling face getting torn apart by the ground getting closer and closer. I close my eyes and I remember the kiss that I gave her at the last seconds of her life and that calmed me, one single tear sprang and then.