The but turned out to be the girl

The night ofJanuary 28, I had a weird and consistent dream that seems to come back everytime I feel sad about my future.

I remember being with my boyfriend hours agoand for some reason, he was the main part of the dream. It was not just him butalso a girl I remember being friends with a long time ago. The night before thedream occurred, I was crying because of a conversation I had with my boyfriendthat involved the concerns and barriers of my life. The life I have experiencedhas been precious but also painful because ‘all eyes have been on me’. Duringthe time I went to bed from 2:45 am and woke up at 9 am, I dreamed of a similarcase of cheating.

Cheating issomething I probably will never tolerate or plan to tolerate again. During myearly years of dating, I had bad luck dating guys who said they were somethingbut turned out to be another person. I was cheated on two times, which broughtmy confidence low in approaching the opposite sex. After years of healing, Idecided to give a last try and date again. From this day, I have had specificdreams with a female. This female was a good “friend” of mine but turned out tobe the girl that I caught my ex-boyfriend with. I have had dreams trying tounderstand why I would be done such thing or where did I trust someone so muchto let them hurt me? Last night, thedream of a female and my current boyfriend came up.

It took place at my houseduring daytime. I was with my boyfriend eating lunch and talking about the planwe have on going to Disney World during winter break 2018. I then heardnon-stop spam of texts on someone’s phone and immediately noticed it was myboyfriend’s phone. I remember asking if everything is alright or if he had togo (since he currently had a death within a family member). He then stated thatit was just some friend bugging him about going out to eat after telling thatfriend no repeatedly.

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I found it suspicious since usually his friends nevereven mention going out, but I went with it. My paranoia got worse as I wascurious what was going on. After a moment later, I get a text from an unknownnumber saying how her and my boyfriend were seeing each other and were about tofacetime. When I read the text, I laughed suddenly and questioned what isbehind all this questioning and statements. I then had the courage to call thenumber and ask who it was. As the other person answered, I recognized the voiceand immediately said: “quit chasing after me”. I knew I was being haunted by mypast, something that remains delicate in my emotions. I reached out to myboyfriend in the dream, yelling and being so scared that it was happeningagain.

It was 9 am exact when I woke up and realized that it was just anightmare. I received a good morning text message from my boyfriend around10:30 am, noticing the nightmare took a toll on my mentality. My nightmarereminds me of the theories that were discussed in lecture, that may help meinterpret the occurrences behind the consciousness of a dream. These threetheories are wishful-fulfillment, information processing, and neuralactivation. According to wishful-fulfillment, the theory indicates that ourunconscious interprets things we desire while our conscious may not notice. Informationprocessing theory conveys that human beings take in the information given andcan store it in their memory and recall the information later. The third theorymentions that neuron activity in our brains are responsible for the way we feeltowards a dream. The first theory is applicable to the way I wished that I hada special power to determine if I would be hurt again in the future so that Icould make better decisions to avoid going down the same path.

Thewishful-fulfillment theory in my case explains that I desire to remain happyand hope to do better than I did before. With information processing, my dreamstell me that I am always observant of my surroundings. Information processinghelps me stay certain and possibly control the way things could go. Forexample, when I was paranoid about a text message with vague responses, I wascurious to call and ask who it was. My own curiosity can hurt meunintentionally in my dreams, which leads to neural activation.

The neuralactivation activity in our brain helps us know the emotion that our unconscioushas towards a memory that has been stored, and it helps me determine a painthat may remain with me. Wishful-fulfillment,information processing, and neural activation identified the possible reasonswhy this dream keeps coming back. After a long time, I can confirm that I amstill insecure about a relationship and trusting another person. This is a mainreason this dream keeps happening since I am not confident enough to overcome thoselittle obstacles. Even though this dream can be annoying, it helps see myselfinternally that I still have things to work on about my socialization andapproach in a relationship. Because life moves on quick, I realize that anindividual may not have time to stay hurting which could result in dreams thatreflect a bad time in our lives.