The but turned out to be the girl

The night of
January 28, I had a weird and consistent dream that seems to come back every
time I feel sad about my future. I remember being with my boyfriend hours ago
and for some reason, he was the main part of the dream. It was not just him but
also a girl I remember being friends with a long time ago. The night before the
dream occurred, I was crying because of a conversation I had with my boyfriend
that involved the concerns and barriers of my life. The life I have experienced
has been precious but also painful because ‘all eyes have been on me’. During
the time I went to bed from 2:45 am and woke up at 9 am, I dreamed of a similar
case of cheating.

Cheating is
something I probably will never tolerate or plan to tolerate again. During my
early years of dating, I had bad luck dating guys who said they were something
but turned out to be another person. I was cheated on two times, which brought
my confidence low in approaching the opposite sex. After years of healing, I
decided to give a last try and date again. From this day, I have had specific
dreams with a female. This female was a good “friend” of mine but turned out to
be the girl that I caught my ex-boyfriend with. I have had dreams trying to
understand why I would be done such thing or where did I trust someone so much
to let them hurt me?

Last night, the
dream of a female and my current boyfriend came up. It took place at my house
during daytime. I was with my boyfriend eating lunch and talking about the plan
we have on going to Disney World during winter break 2018. I then heard
non-stop spam of texts on someone’s phone and immediately noticed it was my
boyfriend’s phone. I remember asking if everything is alright or if he had to
go (since he currently had a death within a family member). He then stated that
it was just some friend bugging him about going out to eat after telling that
friend no repeatedly. I found it suspicious since usually his friends never
even mention going out, but I went with it. My paranoia got worse as I was
curious what was going on. After a moment later, I get a text from an unknown
number saying how her and my boyfriend were seeing each other and were about to
facetime. When I read the text, I laughed suddenly and questioned what is
behind all this questioning and statements. I then had the courage to call the
number and ask who it was. As the other person answered, I recognized the voice
and immediately said: “quit chasing after me”. I knew I was being haunted by my
past, something that remains delicate in my emotions. I reached out to my
boyfriend in the dream, yelling and being so scared that it was happening
again. It was 9 am exact when I woke up and realized that it was just a
nightmare. I received a good morning text message from my boyfriend around
10:30 am, noticing the nightmare took a toll on my mentality.

My nightmare
reminds me of the theories that were discussed in lecture, that may help me
interpret the occurrences behind the consciousness of a dream. These three
theories are wishful-fulfillment, information processing, and neural
activation. According to wishful-fulfillment, the theory indicates that our
unconscious interprets things we desire while our conscious may not notice. Information
processing theory conveys that human beings take in the information given and
can store it in their memory and recall the information later. The third theory
mentions that neuron activity in our brains are responsible for the way we feel
towards a dream. The first theory is applicable to the way I wished that I had
a special power to determine if I would be hurt again in the future so that I
could make better decisions to avoid going down the same path. The
wishful-fulfillment theory in my case explains that I desire to remain happy
and hope to do better than I did before. With information processing, my dreams
tell me that I am always observant of my surroundings. Information processing
helps me stay certain and possibly control the way things could go. For
example, when I was paranoid about a text message with vague responses, I was
curious to call and ask who it was. My own curiosity can hurt me
unintentionally in my dreams, which leads to neural activation. The neural
activation activity in our brain helps us know the emotion that our unconscious
has towards a memory that has been stored, and it helps me determine a pain
that may remain with me.

Wishful-fulfillment,
information processing, and neural activation identified the possible reasons
why this dream keeps coming back. After a long time, I can confirm that I am
still insecure about a relationship and trusting another person. This is a main
reason this dream keeps happening since I am not confident enough to overcome those
little obstacles. Even though this dream can be annoying, it helps see myself
internally that I still have things to work on about my socialization and
approach in a relationship. Because life moves on quick, I realize that an
individual may not have time to stay hurting which could result in dreams that
reflect a bad time in our lives.