When reading Solomons email, the very first thing I noticed was he had misspelled patients. In addition, he had several punctuation errors as well as some grammar errors.
It is also evident that he was far to casual and did not take a lot of time to think about who he would be addressing, or what information should be included. Solomon said that the office had “some new initiatives” but he only spoke about the free yoga class that was being offered. It would appear that he left out some other events or classes the office was providing. As a patient receiving this email, I would think the office was not very professional. I would be concerned that Dr. Fishman’s employees lacked the ability to communicate professionally and also that he did not care how his employees delivered a message. Solomon could have written a much more effective email if he would have taken the time to outline what exactly he wanted to say. He should have taken time to figure out exactly who his audience was going to be, as well as the topics he needed to present to them.
It should have also been important to him to know what kind of impact the email was going to have on the patients regarding the office as a whole. While he was excited about writing the email to share the new resources available to the patients, he should have not jumped so quickly to compose the email.If I were Solomon’s employeer, feedback I would provide would be to make sure he is always proofreading everything before sending it. Sometimes it is much easier to create the email in a Word document as it will point out any and all grammar, punctuation, and spelling errors the text may have, then copy and paste the text into the email. I would also stress the importance of having your thoughts organized and know exactly what you want the patients to receive from the message. Furthermore, I would make it a point to check over what my employees are writing to catch any information or errors they may have accidentally missed.